A day in the life of...

A few Sundays ago, I was having a rough day. And only now can I share, maybe you'll understand why. But anyway. I teach Beehives, and my lesson completely tanked. It was HORRIBLE. It should have been just fine, but the girls were listless, unresponsive, non caring, and even were playing games while I talked. I was at my wits end. We will have to do something drastic next time... not really sure what it will be, but something definitely will be done. Mom says it is just that time of year, and being at the end of the 3 hour block doesn’t help, I am sure.... 

So after class though, I go to find Eric. I manage to catch Justin going into the Bishop’s office for some supplies, and I offer to take Seth, as he is juggling a few things.... We make our way down the hallways of church, towards the large foyer in front of the back door to the parking lot. Eric is there, talking with some people, and so we wait too. Now I have my huge coat I’m carrying, my large sunday bag over my shoulder, and Seth in my arms. After 4-5 minutes of just standing there, without spying Amy anywhere, I decide that we will go see what is going on. Eric sees Benjamin still in Primary waiting to be picked up, and so I figure I better relieve the primary teacher waiting to go home herself, and go to get him. 

I weave in and out of all the hoards of people in the back foyer all of 2 yards to get to the Primary room door, navigate through the throngs of leaving-adults-with-children-in-tow, bumping against everyone and everything with my own child-in-arms, bag on hip and coat stuck somewhere. I get to Benjamin, he excitedly demands my attention with the ‘thing-that-was-made-in-Sunbeams’ while more of the people flow in and around me in the middle, trying to crouch down to hear what my nephew is saying (keep in mind the bag, the child and the coat now falling out of where it was stuffed). Mother in training, I know. Don’t worry, I’m handling it fairly well. I tell Benjamin that I will look at _____ (insert Sunbeam colored activity here) later, and let’s go find his Mom. We point ourselves back to the doors exiting the primary, less people, but definitely not empty. We reach Uncle Eric, complete with all my piece parts (thank you for your turn of phrase, Mom). Standing there, almost sweating now, heavy bag, heavier toddler, wool coat and now Benjamin, his Primary activity (which to this day, I still don’t know what it was) and now his coat too. 

Unfortunately everyone (not really, but enough of Everyone from church to make this story fantastic) was still mulling around the back foyer, looking for their families/friends/visiting teaching companion/home teaching assignment and any other social need that can be met in the post-church time. I still don’t see my sister, I’m hungry and would really like to go home and complain about my lesson to Eric, and so we go off in a hunt for Amy. There may only be 5 yards between the Primary door where Eric, me, my bag, my coat, Seth and Benjamin were standing, and the Relief Society room, where I hope my sister is. But I left my coat with Eric, so that I could maneuver my way more easily through the crowd. 

With Benjamin in tow, and Seth still happy in my arms (small joys, let us praise you!) we make our way across the sea of people and past the drinking fountain when I feel like I am stepping on something. “What now have I dropped” I think to my self, looking down to see what it is, I see my skirt merrily playing around my ankles. WHAT??!! I can’t really reach down and get it... because, remember my arms holding Seth, my oversized bag on my hip, Benjamin in tow and his activity/coat? Plus bending over when you are indisposed like that doesn’t sound like a good idea to me anyway...So. I waddle (repeat waddle, please try to imagine my duck/seal walk) the best I can, trying not to step OUT of my skirt, hoping *while not looking around to check* that everyone else is so busy with their own ‘drama’ that they won’t see the fact that I am naked in church. That I am mooning everyone that was just in Sacrament meeting. Naked. Don’t worry, it gets better. 

I am one step from the Relief society door, when I realize my slip that I had thankfully wore, was now around my thighs. As in the elastic band, 6 inches above my knee. WHAT?! This can NOT be happening, is this my nightmare? Nope, reality. But still, my hands are full of items not able to be divested of, and we continue the waddle, more hurried now that I am REALLY exposing myself in church, to the Relief Society Room. I collapse down on the closest chair, thankfully right inside the door frame, set my bag on the floor, tell Benjamin I don’t see his mother just yet, give him his items to hold, and set Seth on the seat next to me, while Benjamin looks around for his mother. I lean over to grab my skirt, still wrapped around my shoes, and get it pulled up in one fluid motion to my knees when a Brother from our ward comes around the corner to talk. To talk to me. While I am naked. *inside shriek!* I grab Seth back on to my lap (poor child schleped around) and yank Benjamin back by my side to save any dignity I might have left. Still don’t know to this day what he wanted from me--I am sure it was just some pleasantry, ‘Hello, How are you,’ or something like that. I muddle through some reply, get out some words, something to the effect of “huahhhwmaee yea.” and then pull my self together to let him know I am glad to see him, and we will have to talk later. 

So, I set Seth back on the bench, release the grip of death on Benjamin, and proceed to pull my skirt up as far as I can. Sitting down, it really makes it almost impossible to fully re-dress. So I stand up and am adjusting my skirt, when I realize that I have forgotten to put the slip INSIDE my skirt, and it is in fact, still bunching/billowing out and around my waist and now replaced skirt. Quickly, I stuff the slip back where it should be, without rechecking to make sure you can’t see it below my skirt (because really, at this point, I don’t really care, truly I don’t.) At this precise moment Benjamin appears from between the mass of other sisters also in the Relief Society, with his mother safely found. I hand her Seth, the coat, the activity from Primary, grab my massive bag and flee for the safety of my car.